Parenting

Hardly A Selfish Decision (Fed Is Better)

We stumbled across an Instagram post by chance; it had an instant impact. Raw and real, yet enchantingly romantic with the intimate image of mother feeding her baby. Little did we know that the post was an excerpt for a blog post by Kayla Paisley of KaylaSueBlog.
We simply needed to collaborate with her to share her words and stunningly tender photos…

“I’ve been feeling a little guilty for not breastfeeding Luna.

When she was born, she had 2 of the cutest little teeth on her bottom gums which deterred me from it, but now they’re gone.

She was amazing at nursing in the beginning.

As soon as she came out she was already searching, and trying to find the goods.

She latched perfectly, and it was the most incredible bonding experience.

But then her teeth wrecked my nips, and made them bleed in the first night.

She would bite + suck until my milk let down, and by then I was bawling my eyes out.

I was able to nurse Ren for 6 months until my milk dried up.

But the difference with Ren when he got his first two teeth, was my nips had built up that callous before he got them.

Because you know, he got his first 2 at 5 months.

2 1/2 weeks was my limit with Luna.

I’ve gotten so many comments about how I could have pumped.

I did. For 2 weeks after I stopped nursing I pumped.

But it just wasn’t enough for her.

I started supplementing, and as soon as I gave her that first bottle of formula, she slept for 6 hours straight. Before it was only 1 1/2 – 2 hours.

I saw this post on Instagram the other day that actually hurt.

It was talking about how “breast is best” and mom’s that formula feed, unless of medical emergency, was a cop out and selfish.

To which I went, WHAAAT?

I LOVE seeing all of these beautiful breastfeeding photos on Instagram

I f r e a k i n g love it.

Seeing these photos with these mama’s bonding like that with their babes makes me tear up because it is so. freaking. beautiful.

I love it.

And then I started feeling ashamed.

Would my formula, bottle feeding photos be just as beautiful?

Would people think I was selfish?

Or a cop out because I couldn’t deal with the pain?

I just didn’t want anyone thinking less of me because I wasn’t breastfeeding my baby.

I didn’t want to be judged because I didn’t suck up the pain of my nip being chewed on, when other mom’s can nurse when their babes have full sets of teeth, and I couldn’t even handle two.

Then I kept seeing these Insta + blog posts shaming other mom’s for formula feeding their babies.

And all my fears were becoming a reality.

Clearly they were in the right because they have 15K followers, and their words have more meaning than my feelings.. right?

And then I saw a couple of mama’s in the mall.

One who was formula feeding.

And one who was nursing.

They were just chatting away with each other.

Not caring about who was right, or who was the selfless one with how they were feeding their babies.

They were just feeding them.

And then I realized how unbelievably stupid I was being.

There is no right or wrong way when it comes to this subject.

There is only loving our babes.

Mom’s who formula feed their babes are not selfish.

Mom’s who breastfeed their babes are not selfish.

We all can agree that a FED baby is the best baby.

It really doesn’t matter if it’s breastmilk or formula.

As long as that precious babe gets food in their belly.

Who really cares if a mama choose to nurse or formula feeds her baby by choice?

And to shame any mom and call her selfish because she can’t or doesn’t want to is a load of crap.

And I will always go up to bat for the mama who is being shamed.

Can’t we all just love other mama’s for being a good mama and feeding her baby?

I mean, formula is hella expensive.

And is hardly a “selfish” decision.

Juuuust sayin.

We need more l o v e in this community.

Social Media has called for people to become judge, jury + executioner, and call for the heads of these beautiful mama’s who are just trying to do right for their babies, and family.

We need to show more a p p r e c i a t i o n.

To the mama’s who stay home all day long to care for their children, and home, and husband, and gets no break because it’s their home + can’t find that solid line between work hours + relaxing hours.

Or the mama’s who goes to work all day long + stay up with their newborn or sick babes because we do what we gotta do.

Or the mama who can’t nurse her baby, and has to formula feed because her baby has teeth.

Or the mom’s milk dried up.

Or because she just wants to have the freedom of not nursing.

Or the mom who does nurse and has been shamed into going into another gross smelling room in the mall because random assholes think breastfeeding is gross.

Or can’t pump has to spend x amount of time nursing when she really wants a break and go nap.

Or the mom who wants desperately to breastfeed her babe, but she can’t because she’s sick, or her milk won’t come in despite everything she does.

Or on, and on the reasons go..

We need to just be freaking n i c e r.

To all of those women who take care of their babies and are doing their damnest to just be accepted and loved by their fellow people.

And be told that we’re doing a good job even if what we’re doing doesn’t fall in line with what certain opinions are.

We just need to l o v e.

And to feed our damn babies.

Because fed is better.

And shaming mom’s is not.

So you do you mama.

Don’t let anyone make you think that you are anything less than AMAZING.

Because you truly are.

You got this.

+ I always got yo back.”

“The “Don’t Judge, Just Feed” Campaign echos my feelings, and is something I am strongly for. They are an amazing campaign that is supporting love for all mothers that are just trying to feed their babies. And I am honored that they have asked to use my blog piece for that issue. We need less judgements in this world, and more support. And that is what Don’t Judge, Just Feed is doing. So thank you DJJF for spreading love + knowledge to us all.”

We have totally got your backs too Mamas. Go forth and mother in the way that works for you and your little. End of.

Where you can find the beautiful Kayla:

Instagram, Facebook, Twitter & Snapchat @kayy_suee

 

2 thoughts on “Hardly A Selfish Decision (Fed Is Better)”

  1. Love this post! Beautifully written. Makes me want to work harder to embrace all the mamas around me, Heaven knows it’s hard enough being a mom and we could al use a few more high fives and understanding. Thanks KaylaSue!

    Like

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