Effortless style seems to be an unattainable goal for me. My nails are short and unpolished (I blame this on working in healthcare; the truth is actually that I really can’t be doing with the upkeep) and my hair often resembles a tangled mop. The only time I’ll ever be ‘on trend’ is when clashing, minimal effort chic is the look of the season. That’ll be never then.
Taking all this into consideration, it’ll be quite a surprise for many people to discover that I’m a big fan of Glamour Magazine and have read it for most of my adult life. I always look forward to my monthly insight into the world of current fashion. I enjoy the fact the magazine includes a good balance of articles relating to lifestyle, health and beauty whilst also featuring real life stories and interviews from inspirational people; some are well known celebrities, others are regular folk being celebrated for their success/bravery/achievements. So with all this to peruse, it’s verging on shameful that I always find myself drawn to the ‘Hey, it’s OK…’ page in every edition. This is a funny yet simple piece that highlights different annoyances in life as well as behaviours which may seem a little odd or unspoken. Its particular purpose is to reassure the reader that it’s totally fine to have these thoughts or habits.
I’m pretty sure the reason I enjoy it so much is down to the fact that I can relate to many of the scenarios, and I frequently laugh at the familiarity of the situations they portray. Undoubtedly, there will always be some confessions that I really can’t identify with. After all, the magazine title is Glamour. For this reason, I have decided to compile my own list in an attempt to normalise my thoughts, experiences and/or actions. I’m hoping I’m not alone in these…
Hey, it’s OK…
… to envy your friends recent weight loss but have no motivation to follow suit. In fact, you’ll just go home, drink wine and order pizza
… to accidentally spray someone with saliva during an animated conversation. Acknowledge it and move on
… to bin your hold-in pants halfway through the evening and go commando instead
… to feel physically sick at the thought of cleaning out your handbag. It’s endured weeks of crumbled toddler snacks, leaked hand cream, used tissues and spilled drinks. Not to mention it housing the urine filled nappy you quickly shoved in there yesterday
… to excitedly wave at someone you thought was waving at you, but actually wasn’t. Style it out by hailing the nearest taxi. It doesn’t matter if you don’t need one. Get it to drive you away from the scene immediately
… to pretend you’re not judging someone for reading ‘The Sun’ newspaper.
… to act like it’s standard when listening to another mother talk about their child’s development. Secretly you’re in panic mode about why your child hasn’t done that yet. You instantly go home and google ‘baby milestones’ and commence repeatedly prompting your little darling to attempt new skills
… to very embarrassingly clog up a toilet but blame it on the amount of toilet paper you used… Hmmm yeah right
… to secretly flip out the middle finger during a disagreement with your husband. The knowledge of him being unaware that you’re swearing at him under the dining table truly makes you feel like you’ve won the argument
… to smell of garlic 24/7
… to join in a conversation at a party, passionately saying your piece, but think you weren’t heard. You repeat it again with the same enthusiasm, quickly realising that you were heard the first time but ignored. Don’t sweat it, they are probably boring bastards
… to have a glass of wine at 8am after returning from a night shift. It’s technically your evening
…to have been asked “how far along are you?” when you are not pregnant
… to have spent years refusing to buy anti-chafing cream due to thigh chub rub and just end up with third degree burns during the summer months instead. Learn about the secret of stick deodorant
… to create a bombsite of discarded clothes whilst getting ready for a night out. You’ll tidy it up once the hangover wears off (24-56 hours later)
… to love the idea of being an earth mother but soon realise that re-useable nappies are a disgusting nightmare, that cooking from scratch for every meal is a massive pain in the arse, and that pushing a pram is ten times easier that carrying your lump of a baby in a hemp woven sling all day.